Friday, March 05, 2010

Burying the Lead

Normally I don’t pick on fellow writers, but the lead for a press release I received this past week is just too tempting. I understand that a public relations job involves putting the best face you can on a company, but I don’t think there’s room for any more superlatives after this sentence:

“HGI Company, an award-winning, full-service, multi-faceted commercial printer, and Quad/Graphics, one of the world’s leading catalog, magazine, retail insert and direct mail printers, today announced that they have entered into a strategic partnership to provide clients with an enhanced product and service offering a global scale that is fast, flexible and meets rapidly evolving needs in a changing marketplace.”

My lead for the same story had a little less meat on it:

“Quad Graphics is purchasing a minority interest in a Burlington-based commercial printer.”

Okay my version is a little less sexy, but when I finally get around to selling my bucket of bolts I wouldn’t mind having that writer pen my ad.

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